August 09, 2017

Mend



(c) 8/09/2017 

I wish you knew how

to replace your own shirts’

lost buttons—

 

thread a needle-eye

like a poor camel heaven bound,

work the shank with twine,

tie up the four-hole, binding points

of entry and intrigue.

 

Your first button at four,

buttoned, unbuttoned,

a practice as everlasting as taxes.

 

First, place the button

onto your tongue

like a Eucharist wafer.

Imagine it is a body. 

 

I wish you knew

what it was like to go to church

before one could buy holy supplies

and chat with God online.

 

The tender button

has spiritual dimensions:

the underside smooth as porcelain,

the top curved, or convex,

nubby, or shaped like a flower.

 

Before buttons were molded of plastic

like everything else

they were made from Gaia’s elements—

wood, shell, antler, bone, ivory,

stone, pottery.

 

That growing in skill—

growing bored—

 

growing commercial,

we made buttons

of metal, glass,

papier-mache, and cloth.

Still, how uncommon

the common button.

It leaves everything done—or undone.

 

Next, press the needle

into your thumb whorl

until you can tell point and eye by touch.

 

The needle should pass through silk

without a mark.

Taste the thread ends

 for fray or stiffness.

 

Blind the eye with a finger—

a spot of flesh

and aim.

 

Thread. Double knot. 

 

I wish you knew how to measure twice,

cut once,

to fix before things go wrong—

how to mend to last.

The Small Pod

(c) August 9, 2017 Rev 2026


Vanilla notes in biscotti,

on my cologne-spritzed wrist,

lavender—

 

the bedroom, the kitchen

of memory—

where I beat eggs and butter

always tripling

the quarter teaspoon of amber.

 

Vanilla—lush

as every boy I longed to kiss,

every unrequited,

every forbidden love

punished—

 

Princess Xanat,

beheaded in the forest,

became an orchid.  

 

Yes

to the black, shriveled fruit,

the little pod—

 

to labor without season,

root rot,

hand-pollination,

the slow coaxing

of sweetness.

 

Yes

to what must be tended,

cut, cured,

made to yield.

 

The apple—

one from a hundred—

ripens anyway.

 

Like the boys:

common,

and still good to taste.

 

Yes,

to the resisted lemon—

to lilac that cannot be distilled.

 

Yes

to imitation,

to cheap lingering scent.

 

Rain, grass,

a single rose—

 

and the body,

cultivated—

opens. 

July 03, 2017

Long Ride, 1962

(c) 2017

 Wheat.

Corn.

Wheat.

Wheat.

Dirt.

Alfalfa.

Wheat. Wheat.  

 

Station wagon passes on our left.

Against our side window

a bumble bee splats. Half its body

shredded by wind.

 

Wheat.

Corn. Wheat.

Alfalfa. Wheat.

Wheat.

 

Elm tree. Small white house.

The red-birded whirligig is not swirling.

 

Sheep.

Corn.

Wheat.

 

Oncoming truck,

cab flat-faced as a pug,

hauling chickens—

 

One chicken. Two chickens.

Feathers. Dust.

 

Dust.

Are we there yet?

Wheat.

Wheat.

Alfalfa.

Wheat.

April 29, 2017

Tourist in Ocho Rios

(2017) revised 2026
 

In the ocean, a caged pen

of juvenile stingrays,

 

I submerged,

told myself to breathe.

 

Flooded with panic—

I jerked skyward.

 

By the fourth attempt

I trusted that apparatus,

tooth-clenched, strapped on.

 

Through murk and plastic—

no pirate gold

only sting rays—

gray wings undulating,

fish flashing silver.

 

In the dolphin pool,

I treaded water,

waiting for contact.

A pair.

 

One foot on each dorsal fin—

I was carried forward,

whitecaps breaking behind me.

A flailing victory,

then collapse.

 

In the photograph

you can see—

though instructed

to hook my hands to the vest,

I am scratching one dolphin’s chest

like a pet.

 

The camera malfunctioned—

four minutes

it nuzzled my cheek,

that fixed, beaked smile.

As if it liked me.

 

I kissed it—

small filial kisses—

until my daughter yelled

Get a room, Mom.

 

I bought a cane reed bracelet,

hand-braided onto my wrist

by a man in the park.

 

He was there,

less to sell

than to speak—

prophecies in patois.

 

He saw past my piker skin,

past present tense,

as if I belonged

to something older.

Yoruba perhaps. Ife.

A resistor.

 

He touched my shoulder—

you know this.

 

I almost believed him.

It felt it too seductive.

 

I paid for the bracelet

and moved on. 

Measure



(2016)

Tuesday is the diligence of pencils. 

Thursday is papers piled—

irregular as gopher mounds.

Friday is a clock. 

 

I measure time

no less than time measures me—

the verdict:

habitual innocence.

 

What I am told

is not always what I feel.

 

Saturday’s recalcitrant crowds

by Sunday are bones.

 

Others measure it differently.

Decoy

(2017)

Many nights I wished him dead,

my father--

his thudding up the stairwell,

heavy, like a pallbearer in polyester pants—

coming to plant one forehead kiss

to check that I am sleeping.

 

I faked obedient sleep—

a sham angel,

to make Daddy leave my small world unsullied.

 

I could never escape being bad. 

 

Even at five, Daddy’s derision—

my willfulness—

a stink so vile

it permeated air like rot in a closed room.

 

Shame was the only sense I could make of it.

 

Kisses are a decoy. 

I use them too—

entwine to sniff out adultery—

perfume,

an overlay of salt and soap,

pungent cunt underneath my husband’s tongue.

 

Kisses elicit lies.

Like the rapist who whispered

“I love you”,

stroking my hair.

Flattery and attention disarm me.

 

The last good kiss

at fourteen—

my first taste of boy.

Desire was a property of the self.

 

But Father’s kiss

conscripted me into a supporting role—

a world where tenderness

was performance.

 

At five, I thought I saw affection.

I giggled. My eyes opened. Another?

 

I will never forgive Daddy

his whiskey and cigar kiss

given only

when I was compliant—

as a corpse—

 

my return of affection

diminished him.

 

His rage marked me—

renewed in every false kiss.

Begin

(2016) (c)

 

Over thirty-two-thousand years ago,

in southern France above the Ardeche River,

under a limestone cliff,

inside the Chauvet Caves,

our ancestors marked the stone—

 

bison, mammoth, bear,

the sweating flanks of horses,

eyes fixed on the observer.

 

In that place of deep silence,

layer upon layer,

outside of time,

a community endures.

 

Most of us will never see it

except through film or photograph.

Still, we carry it—

we are what remains.

 

Before temples, before cities—

before written names—

we measured by sky:

sun, moon, the turning of stars.

 

Stories moved us forward—

through shamans, rabbis,

sheikhs, lamas—

through those who spoke

what could not be held.

 

We became artists,

mystics,

makers of meaning.

 

A beginning:

a fearful, lonely I am.

 

A creation, a cosmos,

crossing ice,

 

to walk the earth,

to unite I am to I am,

and for a moment

 

we did not turn away.