Roles

 (c) 12/2020

I should have given up playing the ingenue decades ago
but none of the other roles really fit either.
The harpy comes close because, when poorly directed
a cataclysmic rage will pour out of me
until someone is devoured dark and swift.
On occasion, I shave off my hair
and try to swagger like rough trade.
I am unable to play it with any conviction.
I am not as gifted as I would like to be
with  pretend posture, attitude, or phrasing
though I had near success once with mother.
And he was young, because they are all young;
Eternals for whom time runs out
just when we thought it was unlimited.
The first time I saw him I thought, Oh, there he is.
My split-off animus. My dream figure walking the world.
I saw him enveloped in halos and I admit
more of what I wanted than was there.
It could be I have a faulty aperture.
The mechanism flawed; a loose screw sprung years ago.
Halos and half-gods, with light not so much emanating
as thinning at outer edges.
I never really learned how to behave around a human,
neither how to hold nor how to be held.