July 17, 2021

Hanged (Wo)Man

 (c) 7/17/2021

I hold onto every grudge as though

it is my last possession. Clutch disappointment

as if each small humiliation were a building block

in my fortress. Such shiny things!

For a moment. They tarnish and I scour away for days

to bring each back to its original luster.

And sometimes I find it challenging

to prioritize regret, to replace bitterness

with alternatives:

a glimpse of koi in the pond, licorice tea,

or the scent of baby powder, though that too

can be dangerous with asbestos.

 

Someone said, “Make this your year for letting go.”

She became another relationship that failed my expectation.

It wasn’t easy, but I let her go.

 

Other children swing inverted, heads upside down,

hair brushing earth, feeling free.

Others surrender when surrender is optional,

accepting that time and distance may offer clear footing.

I once felt bound, too.


I know the world has not changed.

I’m no longer sure when I did.