Curriculum Vitae

 3/14/2026 (c)

The incessant started

after my tubal ligation.

I wanted to—but didn’t—

gut myself with a boning knife—

spleen myself open

at the top of the stairs.

Every month lower lumbar

and I soaked—unsuccessfully—

scalding— in Epson salts,

or my abdomen and twenty

ibuprofen did nothing—

clots the size of mice.

 

Different experts said somatic, anxiety, weight—

a Priest said sin. I was Eve’s curse.

I needed subjection.

 

This. For over twenty years.

Pills. Pain. Blame.

 

I am going to turn my pain into an opera.

Singing boosts immune function

and releases oxytocin.

 

I am going to write a memoir

about my pain

and show others how I threw it off—

or how I kept it around forever.

Either way it is satisfying.

 

I am going to tweeze my eyebrows

into a permanent scowl.

I am going to add the history of my pain

to my elevator speech and into my resume

and someday I may scratch it off my bucket list.