March 31, 2026

Do Over

 2015 - rev 2026


When my daughter—

twenty-three, pregnant,

unemployed, single—

asked me if I would do it over again—

 

if I would go through with it,

or would I abort her,

let some fundamentalist Christian family

raise her—

 

 Christ, I said “of course,”

and kept twenty years

of do-over scenarios to myself. 

 

Because if I could do it again,

I would not have married him.

My sister warned me—

I knew better than everyone—

even when I didn’t.

 

Every promise turned out empty. 

 

I realize now I should have married him,

taken out life insurance,

killed him myself.

I would have worn my wedding gown

let it catch the blow-back, then buried him in it.

 

Then I would have flown to Mexico,

learned Spanish—

crusaded for the girls in the maquiladoras.  

My problems are universal.

 

I’ll never learn Spanish. 

 

I’d instruct my younger self—

studied computers,

get a job at Microsoft,

retire at forty—

a stable home,

psychoanalysis for my daughter,

private school.

 

I could have married for money.

Love turned out to be a prison.

 

How could it be her,

if there was a different father? 

 

I am afraid to say it. 

 

If I could do it over again,

I would not have married.

I would not have been pregnant. 

 

It would be best

if I could go all the way back—

be born into a kinder family—

not alcoholic parents. 

 

How could it be her

if it is no longer me?

 

As a mother I know

the answer

can only be

 

“Yes, Honey, I would do it

exactly the same.”